6.25.2017

Page One: The Last Flight (5.17.2017)



Anxiety
Anxiety
Anxiety

Fear
Fear
Fear

That was what was going through my head
As my body was exhausted 
And the flight map still had 7 more hours
I know my thinking was off
Because of the severe lack of sleep
But the thoughts were still there

Why did I do this
By myself?

No team, no companion
Traveling 9,158 miles 
To a place I've never been
with one person I'd met once
Lord, how did you talk me into this?

Fear always has its roots in something
an insecurity or an identity we have taken
It comes from deep under the surface
But always chooses the best moments
To create chaos in the heart

So as I walked off the plane onto the ground
Of the airport at 11 o'clock at night
I had to breathe and remember
I didn't orchestrate this
I don't have the power to even begin to make something happen
So God was going to be there
Because he never left
And whoever picked me up
Was going to be just right
And this isn't the end of my fears & anxieties in Uganda
But it was the beginning of a beautiful thing
In which my own identity
Or lack of anything

Would not stop God from getting the glory.  

______________________________________________________


(This page is a part of my Uganda story. I decided to tell it through different posts explaining different encounters and emotions while using poetry and stories to express them. I hope this moves and connects you just a tiny bit to the beautiful country of Uganda and what God is doing there.)

6.20.2017

Lets go Back....


Someone recently asked me what the hardest part about my Uganda trip was and I said, “leaving”. 
If you are wondering about how my trip was I feel like that statement explains it well.

I apologize to anyone who has been waiting for me to write about my Uganda trip. When I got back in the states a lot of plans changed and I, my mom and a 26 foot truck (Lucy) traveled across the United States and no, that was not planned. So coming back to the States was slightly overwhelmed with even more travel and change. 

I am now sitting in my bed, in my home in the North Georgia mountains and enjoying my family while putting off processing my trip. I honestly felt like I lived there even though it was only two weeks. I learned pieces of the language, I learned to travel around alone, and I experienced community, so to say leaving wasn’t easy is an understatement.

But know it wasn’t all easy. When I stepped off the plane in Entebbe, the realization of what I had done hit me. Entering a country where I knew one person whom I met years before and had only known for a week
really
truly
hit me 
& in that moment I was not ready.

But God had made it clear that it was His plan every step of the way, so that's what I relied on even though my courage was a bit shaky. 

Now looking back I realize I was wrong about a lot of things.

I was wrong with my expectations of the trip.

I was wrong that God wasn’t going to speak to me, I mean I had asked for clarity last summer when I lived in India for two months. Instead I came back completely drained and with more questions than answers.

I was wrong that God wasn’t going to use me, at least I pray He did.

But if nothing else, God used Uganda to move my heart closer to His.

I’ve said that about every trip I’ve been on because, in reality, a small group of college students can’t change a community in two weeks or even two months. They can come willing to serve and encourage but almost every time God uses it to change them and their perspective.

So stepping onto Ugandan dirt I had no idea what it was going to be like but God made this trip just for me. My fears while I stepped off the plane were gone when I recognized so many situations I would never have experienced if there were others with me. I had to go to Uganda & I had to go alone.

I wish I could sit and write to you every moment, laugh and food that I ate there but that would take much much too long. I have a few resources that explain the ministry I worked in, my friends & their stories I worked with & just a peak at life in Uganda and I am going to post them here so that anyone who is curious can see what I saw and understand just a little hint of the beauty of Uganda. 

Doors Ministry Website // Visit it Here.
Doors Story //  Watch it Here. 
Movie Filmed in Uganda  //  The Queen of Katwe. (On Netflix) 

As for me and my stories, one post was not going to be enough. So I am going to post over the next couple of weeks poetry, stories and pictures of my experience in order. Know these will be honest looks at my emotions, reactions and encounters while there. I wanted to use my platform to bring light to the process so others can see God through me. 

So read and experience with me & if you have any questions, ask.

I am more than willing to share.  

5.09.2017

Africa Update #2



Its been a whirlwind of responsibilities, finals (finance was killer), move out and couch surfing these past few weeks. With my Junior year ended, my time as a leader on campus come to a close, and saying goodbyes, it's been slightly overwhelming, and having time in between travels, I have been home hopping until I officially leave for my international trip on Wednesday, the tenth of May, at 10 am. 

Before I begin my mission trip in Uganda, I am stopping in London to see my best friend and her husband. They have been living in Worthing since September as missionaries & I am so excited to see them and witness the work they have been doing!

On the 17th of May I fly from London to Uganda and begin my two week mission trip their partnering with DOORS. (Here is their website if you want to see their ministry and who I will be working with). I will be joining them in their several different ministries and working along side them as well as have the opportunity to interview many different missionaries within DOORS and neighboring ministries. A few examples of their ministries are Uniquely Woven (the mothers focused weekly gathering), ADOORned (provides jobs for single moms through jewelry making), several kids sponsorship programs who then receive an education through the Doors Mission School (a school to educate those within Doors other ministries). These are just a few of their many different discipleship building and community loving programs & I am beyond stoked to come back with stories to tell. 

I write this at 11 pm and my first flight is tomorrow at 10 am, London here I come!

PRAYER REQUESTS: 
- safe travels
- an abundance of confidence
- an outpouring of love
- clarity about my future

More updates to come here! 
  
//////

I've been reading through the gospel of Mark recently and I love seeing the disciples reactions to Jesus because they are genuine and realistic. By chapter 8 they have seen Jesus feed the five thousand, walk on water, cast out demons and heal the sick. YET they still struggled with Jesus’ identity. In verses 27-30 Jesus asks what others perceptions of His identity is. He first asked, “Who do people say that I am?” All of their answers were examples of people that were no longer living, showing His power but not quite His identity. He then asked the disciples who they say He is. Peter says “You are the Christ”. 

Jesus continues on to explain His suffering, future rejection, death then resurrection. Peter took Him aside and rebuked Him. They still weren’t grasping the truth in Jesus words, His full identity and the necessity of these actions. They have been traveling with Him, living with Him, experiencing life with Him but they still didn’t understand.

Jesus explains to the crowd and the disciples,

“If anyone would come after me let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.”

When we meet Jesus our lives are no longer ours, but his. and if a full, deep and real relationship is grasped then that old life wouldn’t be enough anymore. Jesus would become everything and this does require us to deny ourselves. Our lives lose value to us. They become about more than us and our temporary wants or human necessities, our lives become about Jesus and others meeting the creator because we simply can’t ever grasp the heights or depths of His love. Since we have experienced the complete life with Christ, we have to share. 

So I travel to Africa not to bring myself glory with accomplishment, not to have expectations that could hold me back, not to just get another stamp in my passport, or have stories to tell. 


I am going to experience who Jesus is to them 
& to share with them who Jesus is to me.