9.26.2016

Dear Future


Dear Future,

Can I just be honest?

You scare me.

I know you believe yourself to be the poster boy for “Hope” but honestly who knows what you’ll look like?

Everyone keeps asking me about you. I often try to ignore our relationship but so often it comes up. Like that one old boyfriend that always gets brought up because your dad thought he was respectful and mom thought he completed the family. But no. After I broke up with you, the relatives didn’t get the memo. They keep asking anyway.

I think you are so often scary because you walk hand in hand with the unknown and absolutely no one likes him. He is so dark and constantly looming but not always present. He always has the possibility of showing up.

I think I am learning a lot about us though.

I thought I could move past the conversations about you like a brush of the shoulder ushering the conversation in a different direction. I am learning more and more about me and how I react to you. Like some part of me deep within always views you with the look of disgust because waiting for you to come around is not easy & it often comes with bumps. &
 I am not talking speed bumps, I am talking more mountain size bumps.

But there is a lot of potential for us to have a good relationship. I think if I can move past the human emotions I can recognize what you were made to be


a new beginning.

The holder of new things, bigger and brighter experiences, & deeper relationships. Better communications, new places & more love.

The truth is you represent the promise of a lot of things. 
Hards times & joyous seasons. 
Waiting & worshiping. 
Testings & accomplishments.
More world & more God. 
Unbelievable grief & inexpressible blessings.
Times to forget & Kodak moments.

BUT the best news I have heard about you is that whatever happens between us, 

God always has me.

It doesn't matter what you bring with you, I don't have to fear. I have refuge under His wing, no need to fear the call into the wild waters because that is where He is.

So there is a peace, I have come to realize, and it is because my good good Father knows all about you and me & promises He has everything under control.

So I am officially proclaiming a new relationship with you. 

One without anxiety & absolutely no fear because I don’t have to. If my God says I don’t need to worry then guess what. I will choose joy in the daily because I understand the truth of the situation.

Heres to the new.

-AJB. 

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