2.12.2017

To Love



I was sitting with a friend on my uncomfortable college provided couch in my living room when she voiced something that I have always had trouble explaining in words. She said that she thinks that friends should pursue one another just like romantic relationships do. They should be built on coffee dates and intentional time together. Relationships grow through events and experiences. They grow because of conflicts that all humans face. They grow through the tough two am floor conversations when tears fall. They grow because of time spent together. 

I feel like everyone thinks that best friends just exist. They probably live together, sit in coffee shops together and have game nights. But these conflicts are almost even harder to handle because these close relationships are built in vulnerability. I know that all the closest people in my life were built through hard situations, and me too moments. One was built on the floor leaning against bricks as I cried because I felt so alone and I couldn’t handle the rejection again. One was built in a place of hurt where I needed someone to listen and say it is going to be okay. One was built in India where challenges arose in every single way imaginable. The forth was built out of a place of insecurity. 

With these vulnerable situations comes work. Even the close relationships require some tuning time where the issues are brought to the surface and handled.

My friend sat there and said that before her plans that night she wanted to walk to her friends room and just be there for a bit. She was explaining intentionality and Intentionality is where people feel loved. 

So this Valentines day I am not going to write another post about being content in singleness or that it is a time for growth or that God is enough. I am not going to shame the couples who chose to do something special together and make memories. I am not going to say anything that will help with the loneliness either.

I am going to say that you need to love your people. 

Recognize every single love filled relationship you have in your life. It doesn’t matter what gender or where the relationship is currently at. It doesn’t matter that you are struggling with happiness. It matters that you have them because God gave them to you, even if it was just for a season.

Every relationship teaches you something. Sometimes about patience, sometimes about confrontation, sometimes about vulnerability and trust. These builds us. They make us into who are today. They are also forming us into who we will be tomorrow. 

So recognize the relationships in your life and through a mini celebration because you are loved and you have the opportunity to love. 

Just serve them well.  

Ways To Love Them Well

Write them a letter.
This is what I am personally doing and I am calling it the '17 Card Project (I like to name things, it adds to my process)

Prove to them you know them.
Get them their favorite candy or flowers or gift card to their coffee shop. Just show them that you know them well.

Make a Jar.
I love jar projects so of course this is something I would suggest but just make a jar full of reasons you love and appreciate them as a friend!

Go old school.
Get the boxes of valentines (preferable the ones with either fun dips or puppy pictures) and pass them to your friends!

Valentines day is the day of love so love on those people you couldn't imagine life without. 

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