3.13.2017

Mourning.



I think sometimes we have to be in a state of mourning. A place of understanding. Of recognition of the loss of an idea, a relationship, a dream. 

It's the mental focus of celebrating something that was, then letting that something go. 

It's taking the emotions that you are feeling, that God made you capable of feeling, and expressing them. Sometimes the disappointments hurt. Sometimes the heart aches for something specific but God has an even bigger and better plan. But there was still rejection. Sometimes it's the understanding of loss. Like a close relationship that's drifted or a rough ending to something known. 

THIS IS OKAY

There is so much that tells us these feelings are wrong. That if we were actually strong we would just get over it. That we just need to shove everything down and focus on moving on. This society's way of thinking is wrong. These words from a human are wrong. 

If anything, strength comes from self awareness. From understanding the heart issues and not burying them. For letting them free into the air whether it's to another ear or just God. 

As someone who has worked long and hard on learning to let the emotions come and be expressed instead of putting them at the top shelf of the closet, this is hard.

So take the day. Put a boundary on it. But just feel. Express these feelings through whatever way you need to. 

I think there are a lot of healthy ways to process this. Dress in all black. Treat yourself. Write a letter to yourself or to someone else. Write down the dream in detail. Include what you were excited about. Through a mourning party. Invite your close friends over and go crazy, including all the needed Ice cream necessary. You have to recognize your hearts desire and let yourself breathe. You have to understand what you are losing before you let it go. 

Psalms 37 says to take delight in the Lord, for he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Looking at this Scripture you might be like, “then why didn’t he give me that job, relationship, or dream?” You have to take a step back and look at the truths. God knows you, truly deeply knows you. He longs for you and your time. He knows what brings you joy and sadness, what sin you struggle with and your favorite people, books and reality tv shows. He also has a plan for you and ultimately, this will bring Him glory, which should be the desire of our hearts. So don’t you think he knows the pain that saying no will bring you? Don’t you know that He collects your tears? So if he said no, He has a really really really good reason. & maybe one day you will look back and have that Aha moment where His plan came into you view and you got where you are because of it. So take delight in Him, my dear dear friend. 

Now for the extra hard part, moving forward. This is going to look different for every single person. Maybe you need to mail that letter to your friend, sister, mother. Maybe you need to rip up that detailed excitement of the future you were planning in that new job. Maybe you need your friend to help you move on by pointing the futures potential out to you. Or maybe you need to write down affirmations. Things that know about yourself that are truths to combat the lies flying in your head that say you are a failure. That say you could never do that job because you aren’t enough. Or that he left because you are unlovable. 

Dependent on the loss, the grieving will last different amounts of time. It could be a night or a month or a year. Recognize the need for grief then move into celebration of what could have been then let it go. Adapt. Change. Find joy again. Go back to the start, the beginning of the desire and pursue it again, taking a different path to get there. There is so much potential in the world, go find it. 


Go.  

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